Jul 18, 2012

Sadness & Hope

Don't ya just hate it when suddenly a thought hits you so hard & you break into an ugly cry? That's what happened last night. I went to bed exhausted but then my brain switches over to my heart & the sadness I am carrying just overtook me. I'm sure one day all of this craziness will become clear & the hurt, anger, resentment, and mistrust will slowly fade. But for now I just want the life I had 5 years ago to return to me.
Never in a million years would I expect to have to deal with addiction this close to me. I am so heartbroken and I have so much emotional work to go through. As if I didn't have enough stress & pressure dealing with finding full time employment, a disabled father, a "homeless" mother, an outspoken strong -willed child, I get dealt the cars of addiction!!! What gives?!
I feel like I could be on the brink of a nervous breakdown!?!?!
BUT there is only ONE hope for me & I know to some people it's a cliche' but
GOD is my only HOPE! If he can die on the cross & endure ALL that he went through for me & everyone else surely, with His help I can overcome this mess.
So when the waterworks come suddenly & I feel so alone, I go to my ABBA father & ask him to get me through this.
If you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, You are truly missing out!

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