Mar 1, 2017

Dear February

February....oh how I have so many mixed feelings about you. It's like I love you but I could live without you. This year, specifically, was embraced with some apprehension, some regret, some love, and some reflection, 
Really the only "date" I was nervous, anxious, saddened, or worried about was the eleventh. That is when Bill died. This year it landed on a Saturday. I only become weepy or teary a few times, just because G snuggled in bed with me, we had a heart to heart, and remembered the goofy things his dad was. We went to eat hibachi Japanese, in honor of Bill, and I think that helped some. 
I was amazed at myself that I didn't have an all out "ugly" cry. I think it just wasn't necessary really. I think that is a sign of growth on my part. I think we both have really learned to accept it all as it is.
On a completely different note....February was pretty decent. No horrible weather, even a few really nice warm days, which was refreshing. I even had a fire in the firepit one night, that is how nice it was. I really appreciate that from you!
And then there was Valentine's day.....uggh...I let it pass and showed love to those I love the most. That's what counts. Maybe one day that particular day will have more significance. For now, I am okay with what "it" is. 
I am looking forward to March. There are great, wonderful, and fun things coming this month. I am super excited about it. One of those is that there is a beach trip over Spring Break, and Grant doesn't know about it....yet. A good family vacation with great memories is always a good thing.

So for you February, you weren't half bad. Thanks for that. I needed a calm and quiet month. So until we meet again......