Jan 31, 2017

Dear January

Dear January

I hate to break it to you, but I have never been one of your biggest fans and especially in recent years. Usually you bring bitter cold weather, a sore attempt at snow and ice here in TN (which by the way is disguised as a post-menopausal woman who hasn't been given enough coffee or chocolate) and flashbacks of really bad days in my arsenal of historic dates like the old "it happened on this day" reel that plays over and over in my head. This year was better, well as better as better can be.....like on a scale of one to ten, you get a six and a half. 
I think I can count on one hand the amount of really bad days this month. Which I can give you credit for because in previous years, it's been the majority of the month where I have been super moody and unlikable and way down on the mo-jo. 
I do want to say that I appreciate the unseasonably warm days you gave me (I could be bff's with post-menopausal weather especially if I give her enough coffee or chocolate!). Luckily for you, I have a membership to a local gym and access to the "fake & bake" bed that doses me up on Vitamin D when I need it. So big deal, I lay in a tanning bed.....it's that or I start to become super cra-cra, the girl in the basement crazy....and you wouldn't really like her. And I will add, I am NOT tanning everyday, just a couple of times a week. Any-who, I guess I should also thank you for the time I needed to really think about "things'. You know, the things that keep me up at night. You gave me a few sleepless nights thinking about what is "IT" that God is trying to work out in me. Thoughts about short term and long term goal setting, plans and ideas for vacation, what to do about issues with my teeth *long story there*, researching and learning more about Paris (that IS.GOING.TO.HAPPEN!) and among so many other thoughts, I had to cope for two long weeks without my wing-woman, a.k.a my sister. She was out of town in California...... gracias por nada on that! I think I clobbered her with so many hugs when I picked her up from the airport. I cannot even fathom not having her, she is my "person". 
January, you also reminded me that I have some work to do and specifically in the area of dating. I had a date, and I decided after that date, it was time to give on-line profiles and dating a break, meaning...I took myself off the market, not because I am taken, but because there's some work I need to do....emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I gave myself 90 days to break away from "dating" and focus on myself and do some prep work for the next go-around. I will re-visit this topic mid-April. I won't tell you it's easy peasy lemon squeezy....trust me on this.....my closest peeps are all in relationships, I'm the odd woman out, at least for a short period of time.
So, January, even though I am not a fan, I dealt with you as best as I could. Some good things happened, the bad days were bearable with lots of coffee, my closest friends, a couple of glasses of wine on the weekends and my selfish desire to be a little tan. I want to learn how to like you more, I am jetting there.....very very slowly. I guess it's inevitable that we will meet next year so goodbye January. 

Not too much love,

Jan 16, 2017


Just to give you a back story on this particular picture, I was cleaning out and switching wallets and was checking every nook and cranny, making sure I emptied the old wallet of everything. I came across the key that opens the box of my father's cremanes. I was delighted to find it because I really believed I lost it. I went to open the box and remembered that this little bible was placed inside on top by my brother. I think she gave this Bible to him when he was on his way to college in Kentucky. or it's possible she gave it to him when he went into basic training for the Air Force. My father was about to be twenty years old. 

 The words written by Mamaw are as following:

My Darling
Time and miles will take us apart but while it does, I shall keep a prayer with a live light burning within my heart for you . God gave you to me and He will keep you for me. My prayers will be with you wherever you go. 
Love, Mother

(To Ivan Newlin)
March 9, 1969

My grandmother was a great woman of faith. She left a legacy of Godly love, mercy, and wisdom. I am not saying she was perfect but she was perfect to me. This prayer for my own father has a lot of meaning to me at this particular time of my life. I can only hope that both my Mamaw and Dad are looking over me, praying for me, protecting me, loving me, reminding me of who I am in God I pray that I will leave a legacy for Grant and even my own future grandchildren. I needed to see and read this today. I needed reminded......

Jan 3, 2017

Friday Follow Up #1

Sunday was New Year's day, of course....I am strangely glad the new year started on a Sunday this year. I had an awesome New Year's party at my house with Melody and some friends. It was probably the best New Year's eve I have had in a long time. Grant had a friend over so that helped occupy his time and attention and lessened the complaining about being "bored". I fell into bed around 2am and got enough sleep to wake up and get to church. This particular Sunday was going to be interesting for me because a certain person I thought had feelings for & stupidly shared those feelings with him in the short time he was 'single' and now was suddenly leaping back into an on again, off again type relationship with someone who shares the same name as me. I guess more than anything, my ego was bruised knowing they were back 'on' and he gets to pretend that it wouldn't make me question his motives. Never did I expect him to come up and give me a hug and wish me Happy New Year much less did I expect that I would conjure up some deep Christ like love to give "her" a hug and wish the cliche' we all are supposed to say no matter how we feel about someone. Anyway, as soon as church ended, I was out of there just so I could swallow the lump in my throat and get home to take a very much needed nap. The rest of the day I did absolutely nothing and I liked it.
Monday was a tough one to survive. I don't really know why the second day of the year is so depressing. I guess it could be that the "high" of Christmas is over and the fun of New Years came to a fast end and even quicker beginning. I spent most of the day in bed, I did get up and do dishes and collected all the garbage and pulled it to the curb. I really wanted to go to the gym and release some stress but G didn't want to be left home alone for the amount of time I wanted to be gone. I ended up ordering a pizza and renting two Redbox movies. We watched Pete's Dragon and oddly, I teared up in a few of the scenes. After that, I watched "Me before You" in my room and that was probably not a good idea to watch a sad sappy romantic movie when this girl is already feeling lonely. It was a good movie, too bad I didn't read the book beforehand but maybe I'll add to my summer reading list. It was late when the movie ended and then I started thinking about someone I am close to who has been diagnosed with breast cancer again and I started praying that God would not take her away from me this year. I don't want to see the death of anyone I love this year. I know I have no control over that but seriously, I am over the 'death' cycle for awhile.
Tuesday was a decent day. I dropped Grant off at my mom's to help her and to oversee PawPaw getting a shower. It's Grants opportunity to make a few bucks and learn that taking care of family is important. I went with Melody to her Dr. appt and she got herself a pretty purple cast on her clean broken wrist. She will be off for the next four weeks and even though I know she hates missing work, it might be a good thing for me in selfish ways. I went to pay my Kohl's bill.....ugghh, I need to get rid of that stupid credit card! I followed up with my dental office about some impressions they made on my teeth. The dental assistant called me back and said the lab did not send back a mock up of what the veneers would look like and would it be possible to come by and do another mold. So I took my happy self to the dentist office, got another mold taken and was on my way back home. Luckily, Mel was at my house napping and Grant was playing PS4. When I got back, we decided to go to Cracker Barrel for dinner and then hit the grocery store on the way home. I loathe grocery shopping and most especially when it involves Walmart!
Wednesday met me with Grant playing a truck on me. He thought it would be a good idea to put whipped cream in my mouth while I was asleep. I wasn't really mad about it but it sorta scared me. No worries, I'll get him back. I didn't actually get out of bed until almost 11am. These holiday breaks inducemy unhealthy habit of being a night owl and then sleeping way too late. Anyway, I had to get a couple of things done so I got dressed and ran my errands. I had an eye appointment at 3pm so I dropped G of at friends house beforehand. I haven't been to my eye doctor in over a year and I was brutally honest with him and admitted that I sleep in my contacts A LOT. Anyway, my prescription for glasses has increased but my prescriptions for contacts is pretty much the same. I'm not surprised by that because my glasses are over 3 years old. Anyway, I got prescriptions for both and went on my merry way. Picked G up, stopped at home to eat a very quick dinner and then headed to church for a ministry meeting. I had to leave early because Grant wanted to attend youth group at Joy church.  Melody met me there at 7pm and we went to service. I wanted to look into what their singles group offers and possibly be a part of their events. CFC doesn't have a singles ministry and probably because there are not that many single people in my age bracket. I think it will be good for me. Better than hanging out at bars, right? Lol.....we made it home and I made myself get in bed at 930pm so I could be asleep by 1030pm.  
My plan to get to sleep early on Wednesday night did not work out. I was up until 2am. I don't know why I couldn't get to sleep but I ended up reading and journaling some scripture. I also noticed that G had left his cell phone on the table and I did a random phone check. He passed, lol.
I knew it was going to be a rough Thursday  morning for me due to lack of sleep. I saw Grant off to school and headed over to pick up Melody and go with her to a Dr appt. She can't write very well with a cast on her right hand so I was designated paperwork person. Forging her name was quite exhilarating HA!
Anyway, after that we headed over to MJ to get our nails done. My nails felt like eagle talons, way too long for me. We finished up and went back to her place. I helped her put her Elvis collectibles in a cabinet and we ate a bite of lunch. I came home and hurriedly swept & mopped the floors because I could no longer stand the filth of dirt and pet hair. I'm OCD about my floors, just ask my son. I threw in a load of laundry and changed my bed sheets. Nothing beats clean sheets when you crawl into bed. Grant arrived home from school, I was meeting girlfriends for dinner so I made sure he was set for the evening. It was a pretty full day.
Friday was interesting. Weather called for snow, a dusting I suppose....well it was just enough to be annoying and dangerous. Metro did not call school off and I made G go even though it seemed treacherous. Not even an hour later, I get a call that school will be dismissed early.  I got up, showered and knew my cat was not going to start because of the dumb battery keeps dying on me. I have a portable battery charger so I got it to start and took it straight to Gateway. I walked over to my mom's to get my other car that she drives and headed to the gym. I didn't make it because the slight hill that leads up to Planet Fitness was covered in snow and I tried twice to conquer it but it was a no go. I ended up going by the school and getting Grant out early. I didn't want him on a school bus in this weather and with the roads like they were, I don't trust a bus. We went back over to mom's, Grant helped PawPaw get a shower and I walked back to Gateway to pick up my car. I zipped on over to Walmart to grab a few things. I wanted to make chicken tortellini soup. The recipe called for Mirapoix??.....I didn't know what that was until I Googled it later. So, I do need it for the recipe and I'll have to hit Kroger tomorrow. Mom needed a much deserved break from baby Genesis so I loaded her up and all her gear and we headed home. Baby G slept an hour and a half and so did I. I played with her, loved on her, gave her a bath and tried to get her to lay down again but mom was on her way to get her. I love having her but man, babies are so much work.
I won't go into details but Grant has a meltdown over something so dumb. Then he gets disrespectful and he pushed the envelope too far and I spanked him. I hate doing that but I just cannot tolerate the disrespect. Later, he came to apologize which is good but we have got to work on the explosive anger when stupid things aggravate him. So, here I am, the first Friday night of 2017, watching endless TV shows, drinking some tea and blogging about the first week of the year. It's been busy, had its ups and downs, but we are all healthy and safe and warm.