Aug 22, 2012

Psalm 34.18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Today, I am brokenhearted. More than ever before, I feel so defeated. It's one thing to say that God has plans for you, it's a whole different story when you actually have to believe Him and trust that He really knows what He has called you to do. My spirit is broken and I don't know what actions to take. It has happened once again. I have been passed over for  teaching job, hoping that this fall would bring a position open for me to fill. The crappy part of the whole thing is there is a compete lack of professionalism and courtesy. A lack of concern for someone's well being. I truly can't understand or comprehend how people can live with themselves when they choose to do something that they know is morally and ethically wrong. A person whom I really trust said to me yesterday that one day I would see God's hand in this and Thank Him for his providence. I am going through so much emotionally, it's only by God's mercy that has kept me from losing my mind.
The other side of all this is that I know I have to find somthing else. What that is, I don't know.
That's where the trusting continues.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Amanda, I feel like I could have wrote this.

    & strangely, I just wrote something similar to this on my blog.

    I don't understand God's timing, I really don't. It all makes me sad and almost feel like just giving up altogethor.