#32 Reflection

Well, Thursday was my birthday, no big deal really, just another year.... time just keeps ticking. It seems that the older you get, the faster the time flies. It's funny how when your a kid, especially a little girl, you think about how your life will unfold in a particular order and really it never seems to turn out the way your illusions led you to believe. I really thought that I would have completed college by the time I was 23 and then get married, and then have at least two kids by thirty. So NOT how its happened. But I guess God knows what he's doing. Speaking of which, I really am trying to stay faithful with this whole job search. It's very difficutt to not worry, fret and be anxious about. It's just that I want to know what my future holds at least for the next two months. It is an aspiration/dream to teach and I really want to be a teacher in Wilson Co. I have had some inner struggles with my self esteem and self confidence lately. I have never been the type to "toot my own horn" so its really hard for me to present myself in a way that makes my ability to be a teacher appealing to principals. It would be lovely if a principal just looked at my resume and only asked a few questions and then instanly hired me. There goes my grand illusions again! The whole job thing really scares me and excites me all at the same time. I don't know, I hate to sound like I am rambling on and on about the job thing, it's just at the forefront of my mind. On another note, my boy will be going to Kindergarten. I pray he is ready for all the things he will be doing and learning. I don't doubt he will adapt quickly, I just hope he is a good student in every sense of the word. We should be hearing something from the school about an Open House or something similar where he can go and meet the teacher and we can get a better grasp of what his day will be like. I have fretted over the idea of revealing my profession as a teacher to his teacher b/c I don't want it to sound like I know it all or could easily cricize things. However, it is an aadvantage because I will know the right things to ask and the things to look for as far as Grant's ability to comprehend and learn what he's supposed to be learnign if that makes any sense.
So as as one more birthday passes, I feel as though the plans I want to make for the next few months are up in the air until I get a job or not. Maybe thats why just a few weeks ago, I was in a real funk about thingss and life was weighing me down. I just say a little prayer each night asking God to help me stay positive and faithful. I try to remember and say Jeremiah 29:11 and the Serenity prayer. I guess I will end here. Just wanted to reflect a little. TFR