June 30, 2004

Nine years ago on this very evening, I was preparing myself for the boy who would change my world forever. I remember vividly, sitting in his nursery and soaking up the last few moments of peace and quiet while Bill went to the airport to get my mom. I can't believe how time just ticks away and gives no consideration for our feelings of sadness when our babies grow up. It's funny the thoughts you have about your kid(s) before they are even born. I thought for sure that Grant would be a chubby little kid but instead he's a "rack of bones". I thought he would be darker in complexion and have dark eyes and dark hair. No, he's a red headed, blue eyed white boy. I thought he would be the kind of kid who would have the disease to please, but he's a strong willed, argumentative, opinionated little boy. I always tell him he needs to go into politics or be a lawyer because he can argue about anything! I know that I'm not the only mom out there who would like to change some personality flaws in their child. I think these things that wear on my nerves will eventually work in his favor but for now he can just wear me out. The things I do love about him most: he's sweet towards little ones, he's compassionate when it comes to animals, he loves his friends (even those who might get on his nerves), he loves being outside and playing, he's a fish in the summer, always wants to be in a pool., he's very smart and eager to know new things, he listens to his grandparents, he notices the most awkward and unusual things, he's thinks outside the box, he is always willing to help others but not so much with his parents, he has a wonderful imagination and is very creative (like me). There are so many other things I could name but I won't bore you. I love this boy. He is my one and only and that's okay. I pray for him and his future and protection over him. I have high hopes for him. I can't believe it's been nine years! my, my, my, it won't be long and he'll be going to college!

I don't really have a title for this post but I just need to get something off my chest.

I have learned a valuable lesson this week and sometimes that's what life does to you, just smacks you in the face with the obvious even when you want to stay in denial.

It's about what people DON"T say when you have a conversation with them. It's paying close attention to their responses when you ask them direct questions.
Why do people do this? I wish I knew. Why can't people live and speak the truth? It's very disappointing to know that you can't even acknowledge someone's capabilities and strengths.
Okay, I'm done, just had to get this out of my head.
Thanks

99.9%

So, I had to work one last day at school today. When I say "last", I really mean "last". I left the parking lot knowing I will never be hired as a teacher there unless by some miracle of God occurs. You know what though? I'm not the slightest bit upset about it. I put in three years, worked really hard to prove myself and it got me nowhere. Whatever the lesson is in this experience is yet to be revealed to me.

 The best part of working where I did, I made great friends and lasting relationships. I was available for a friend who needed someone to share her burdens and stressors with. I worked with fifth graders whom I thought would get on my nerves but ended up loving. Most importantly, my boy had a phenomenal 3rd grade year and came out shining like a star! His happiness will always be more important than mine.

I am 99.9% sure that God must have something better for me, I am just going to wait on Him.